But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 

1 Corinthians 7:2

As we start chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians, we find the apostle segueing into another topic of needed discussion by writing, “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote…” (7:1a).  The brethren at Corinth had apparently sent a missive, possibly in reply to the letter Paul had previously written to them (5:9), containing questions and topics about which they wanted his inspired guidance.

The first of these concerned divine directives regarding marital intimacy (7:1-5).  He starts off by writing, “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman” (7:1b).  The ESV puts this sentence into quotes because some commentators surmise that some within the church at Corinth thought that all sexual activity was sinful, even among married couples.  Putting the above sentence in quotation marks would signify that Paul might have been quoting that mistaken belief.  Other translations do not put this sentence in quotes because some scholars think that the Corinthians might have asked Paul in their letter whether celibacy was good or evil.  Paul would therefore be simply beginning his response by reiterating what he had just taught in the previous chapter, that intimacy outside of marriage between a man and a woman is sinful (cf. 6:9-10, 13-20; Heb. 13:4).

Paul now emphasizes that physical intimacy between a husband and wife is both allowed and encouraged by God.  He starts by stating, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (7:2; cf. 7:9).  One biblical reason for marriage, though certainly not the only one (cf. 7:16; Eph. 5:25-33a; Tit. 2:4), is to be able to engage in physical intimacy without committing fornication, which is defined as any physical congress outside of heterosexual marriage.  It’s also noteworthy that the singularity within the marriage bond inferred by “each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband,” showing that polygamy is also sinful.

The apostle continues, “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.  For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.  Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” (7:3-4).  This is the opposite of what is generally the world’s notion of the relationship between physical intimacy and marriage.  What is expected and practiced by the world is that couples must be regularly intimate before marriage; only after marriage does physical intimacy stereotypically wane as spouses regularly deprive each other.  Yet God expects married couples to have intimate habits which are quite different from the standards and expectations of the world (cf. Heb. 13:4; Song of Solomon).  While the Lord condemns pre-marital relations (fornication) and lascivious, lustful behavior outside of the marital bond as sinful (Gal. 5:19-21), he also commands that the husband and wife’s private, intimate moments together must be habitual, with the mindset of both being to do their best to fulfill their spouse’s needs (7:3-4; cf. Phil. 2:3-4).

Paul concludes, “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (7:5).  Any abstinence from marital relations must be agreed upon between the spouses beforehand and take place only for a limited period (7:5a).  During this time, the married couple must spend time together in prayer; some manuscripts add that they must fast as well (7:5b).  Old Testament Israel had consecrated themselves in similar ways as part of repentance or in preparation for worship and other holy events (Ex. 19:10-15; 1 Sam. 21:4-5; 2 Sam. 12:16; Dan. 9:3).  Thus, it’s possible that the temporary abstinence from physical intimacy should be for spiritual reasons such as zealous worship or deep penitence.  The mutual abstinence must not last long so as to avoid giving Satan an opening to tempt either spouse lose self-control and commit adultery.  Growing lack of physical relations in marriages is one of the leading causes of adultery and divorce, so the wisdom of God’s commands here is clearly seen.

— Jon